A Child - A Shot - A "Family Affair"

CF: Okay, I don’t consider your answer really convincing and I wonder and question if there is more to the „you“ than the eye can see.

CDC: Yes, certainly. The question was what gives me the drive to do it. The answer was the right answer. My sisters! They drive me they fuel me to continue and to do it over and over again. Every time when I wanted to quit and give up I thought about what they have gone through, the struggle. My father used to say: ”If you're going to swim half way across the ocean and then get tired – don’t swim back, it’s the same distance ahead. Keep going!”
And that’s part of the drive too. At that point, after you start shooting, you place yourself in these emotionally and physically draining situations. After awhile it is like you have such an invested interest in it. You don’t know what the outcome is going to be, but you have to sort of see it through.
My sisters gave me the drive to continue!
But yes, there were certainly other motivations: I needed to have certain answers to my questions. I needed to get my father to tell me why he did what he did. But as in the hospital scene, I realized it was not important what he had to say, but that I find the courage to ask the question. And as soon as I asked the question, it was one of the most liberating experiences for me. I actually edited that scene in a way that I experienced it. I had the headphones on, sound check was good and I’m sure I heard his answer, but I didn’t. Which is why in the film I turn the volume down on him, because it didn’t matter what he had to say. There is no real excuse or explanation for what he did. At that moment, the loudest voice in my head was that terrified little boy I used to be; jumping up and down, crying: “We are free! We are free!”. It was really the first time for me, 38 years old, where I felt that I was a man. I was free and liberated from the hold my father used to have over me. I wasn’t afraid of him any more.

CF: Which topic will follow after such an autobiographical film, which also carries such a taboo story into the public discourse?

CDC: For me this film is not just liberating in terms of my identity as a human being and being able to move forward and be free from this terrible past, it also allows me the possibility to make all the films I always dreamt about when I was a child. So there are at least three projects that I’m considering right now, but I'm only going to focus on one. It's a love story about racist memorabilia.

CF: You showed this movie during the Sundance Festival 2010. What were the reactions?

CDC: I never made the film with an eye toward getting into “Sundance” or any other festival and I never would have been able to finish the film if that would have been my motivation. Getting into “Sundance” and in competition really exceeded my expectations. It was quite an honor to be there and quite a magical and intense experience. For me the real reward was the audience reaction to the film. They really responded to it in such a raw and emotional way. To have people stand up in a crowd of hundreds of people... strangers and tell their stories about family crisis, survival and forgiveness... and to know that "Family Affair" is the film that gave them the permission to talk about it for the first time is quite a humbling experience. This seems to take place after every screening, either immediately after the Q&A or later in an email or facebook.

CF: Can one even answer each and everyone?

CDC: It’s becoming a real challenge. I feel a deep sense of commitment to everyone who takes the time to write, because I know where they at. And I know what courage it takes to reach out like that; to make yourself vulnerable to someone else. I know how unsafe that can feel and how alone they can feel. And it’s such a journey and I feel a tremendous sense of obligation to answer and respond each of them.

CF: Isn’t it like a kind of avalanche? And you don‘t even have a crew, which supports you and answers their e-mails…

CDC: Yes, it is an avalanche and a simple copy and paste job won't do. Not to compare, but I think about Obama, his crew has to respond to all kinds of crisis: Haiti, unemployment, oil in the gulf.
This is the one little thing that I can do. I can honestly respond to these e-mails. I can make the time for that. Usually, I'll sit at my desk, have a glass of wine and respond. It always matters to me, whenever somebody I'm looking to connect with or seek advice from actually takes the time to thoughtfully respond.

CF: Did your sisters receive any reactions regarding the film?

CDC: They were there for the first two screenings at Sundance. And they took part in the “Q&A”. The audience responded to them and it was so intense and emotional as I mentioned earlier.

One of my sisters said to the audience: “We didn’t know how the audience would respond to us. We believe that this is an important story that needs to be told and needs to make its way out into the world in a very public way. But you never know. Hearing your response to us makes us feel like in some way as if you are the extended family, who cares for us in ways that we never had growing up”. It was a very powerful statement. I always believed that the audience would be as much a part of the film as my sisters are -- and not merely as passive viewers, who would be drawn in at a safe distance, but that they would see themselves embodied in my sisters' story. And so far, that seems to be the case.


Chico Colvard - Director|Producer
Chico was born in Augsburg, Germany, the son of a WWII German-Jewish mother and African-American father raised in the segregated south of Georgia. After pursuing a career in theatre arts, Chico received his J.D. from Boston College Law School and now teaches "race, law & media" related courses at the University of Massachusetts, Boston. He is a former Filmmaker-in-Residence at WGBH, a member of the Producer's Lab at Firelight Media and former Sundance Institute Creative Producing Fellow. FAMILY AFFAIR is Chico's feature-length documentary debut, which premiered in competition at Sundance and has since shown around the world. FAMILY AFFAIR has received Audience and Best Documentary Feature Awards and was the first film acquired by Oprah Winfrey for her new cable channel, OWN. FAMILY AFFAIR was selected by the International Documentary Association to Oscar qualify during the 2010 DocuWeeks Theatrical Showcase in L.A. and NYC.


Web: https://www.c-linefilms.com
Photo credits: Chico Colvard, c-line Films
Image 5 (gallery): Claus Friede with Chico Colvard, Berlin, 2010.